THE SHIT-EATING GRIN-PREZ PERK

Being the President of the United States is inherently the most difficult job in the world. But it also has it's perks. But one unusual perk that comes with the position is so enigmatic and counter to this position of utmost responsibility it defies a logical explanation.

"THE SHIT-EATING GRIN"!

It has been on the lips of every man sworn into the Office of President. One modern day President who was immune to the "shit-eating grin" was Richard Nixon who always looked like someone had taken a piss on his shoe. Henry Kissinger, in his autobiographical book, "Henry, Memoirs of a War Criminal & Psychopath", tells of a humorous attempt to get Richard to smile for the Nixon Family Christmas card.

Kissinger's quote-"For several hours we told him jokes about niggers, Jews, Polacks, Krutes, you name, not even a lip curl. The closest we came was when we brought in some kittens and his son-in-law David Eisenhower stomped on them, but this slight smile disappeared before the photographer could hit the shutter button. We finally resorted to using tooth picks to prop up the corners of his mouth. Then we used several cans of aerosol laundry starch and removed the tooth picks. It only took a few minutes before the the starch failed and the smile disappeared. Fortunately, the photographer got off 2 very quick shots.

One man who could epitomize "the shit-eating grin" is Bill Clinton. This could be due to the fact that Bill probably developed the grin in elementary school after his 1st diddling of a girl and from that day forward, the grin was here to stay. The only time the grin was not on his face was when, after being elected as the youngest Governor in the United States, he lost the next election because of his pardoning of several death-row inmates. Bill rectified this situation as a Bleeding Heart Liberal immediately after winning the next election, by frying an inmate, who several Psychiatrist had said was a certified retard. This made Bill's grin even a little more cocksure!

As difficult as it was for Nixon to put a grin on his face, the opposite was true of Bill. He could not (or maybe it was a case of he would not) remove it from his face even when that insufferable prick Ken Starr was trying to impeach him. Remember when Bill was being grilled about the cigar, the hummer and Monica. Good old Bill had that fucking grin on his face the entire time.

On another subject, totally unrelated to the topic, a great many Professors of semantics were thoroughly amused by Bill's interpretation of sexual intercourse. In particular the discussion about being on the receiving end of a hummer while discussing politics on the phone. Seems to Bill, this was not sex because he was on the receiving end.

John F. Kennedy had one of the most sublime and slightest "shit-eating grin" of any President, but it was ever-present.

Presidents George Bush Senior and Junior had the "shit-eating grin" but from different pathologies. Senior's was from an arrogance while Junior's was from retardation. Even when George Jr. was debriefing the American Public on the tragic events surrounding 9/11 or Katrina or Kenya West's branding of George as a racist, he had that grin on his face.

We have all seen that grin on President Obama's face.

That's it for today's blog.