COMING OUT AND COMING IN
Graduation is a very special time for teenage girls and boys. The girls refer to this as the 'coming out' phase in their lives. Leaving the girl behind and 'coming out' as a woman. The boys refer to it as the time of 'coming in'. Which means they hope to be 'coming in' something other than their hand, porno magazines or their bed sheets. Today's blog is dedicated to the young men and women who will soon be our future leaders. This should be quite interesting seeing as how the majority are really fat and really retarded.
FASHION SUGGESTIONS
L.A. INK BOUTIQUE
Kat Von D (pic on left) has expanded her A&E TV show to include her new boutique-"Kalifornia Inked & Dinked". Her style ranges from "Goth Whore" to "Suck-The-Chrome-Off-A-Trailer-Hitch"! Kat, who left school after flunking grade 3 four times, said, "I see no real benefit to any woman in going past the 3rd grade. Look how far I've gotten with a tattoo needle and a well placed and timed blow job or two!" She recently completed the most disgusting tattoo she has ever had to do, inking a bulls-eye on Anderson Cooper's asshole.
The clay court goddess has now branched off from tennis and causing tsunamis when falling off boats to include her other love in life-dress design. She earned a fashion degree from Bhigg & Ughlie Fashion Design School. She is pictured here modeling her latest creation she made for some lucky grad. She calls it "Nightmare Draped In White". This will leave no doubt in some lucky date that this girl is dressed for humping. It's made from 106 yards of canvas obtained from a Red Cross hospital tent she stole while on holidays in Haiti. Recently, in an interview with the "Big Jew" (as he likes to refer to himself) at CNN, Larry King, she said that she and her sister, Venus, had a contest to see who could hold the most tennis balls in the crack of their ass. Serena won with an amazing & astounding total of 49.
ADVICE FOR GUYS
Guys, listen up. I know you are pitching major wood thinking about the sure-fire piece of ass you are going to get from a totally shit-faced prom date, but I must warn you about a couple of things. I have said this a thousand times. There are ways to prevent the nastiness that is cumming in your pants before your have gotten to the party. It does not entail wrapping an elastic band around your cock. This can cause severe and permanent damage not only to your pecker, but back flow cum damage to your brain (see my earlier blog on Sex Questions). The best bet? Whacking off about 6 or 7 times just before the dance. Some off my professional colleagues have said placing your cock on a table and slamming it with a rubber hammer might do the trick. I find this highly irregular, dangerous and very fool-hardy. Using a local anesthetic, freeze spray or an aerosol computer cleaner is also not recommended. You can actually snap your pecker right off if you use too much of this shit! Finally, don't get her too drunk! You don't want her blowing chunks right in the middle of a great hummer or when your giving her the money shot in the face! Have a good time. Doc.
Doc, Even though I am a teenage semi-retard, living in a shit hole in Oxford, I really find your blog outstanding even though I have to have my care-giver read it to me. Sorry about the earlier comment on jacking-off and tube socks. I got to go and tuck in my Elmo doll now. Bye
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