GOOD TIMES IN BETHLEHEM Very few people realized that one of Leonardo Da Vinci's ancestors owned a night club, Bacchus' Bar & Grill, located in the center of the Holy City. It was here that many of the high rollers and celebrities of that time partied and got into a lot of debauchery. These stories were passed down through the family. Here are two of Leonardo's paintings from one unforgettable party. On the right is St. Peter, totally shitfaced and being thrown out the back door by one of the bouncers, Lou Cipher. On the left is St. Paul being escorted out the front door by another bouncer, Abraxas and a stripper. Historians think this was at a stag thrown for Jesus!
POLAND'S DESIGNATED WHEEL BARROW PROGRAM
The Polish Government has always been at the forefront when it comes to innovative ideas and programs. The Interior Minister claims that it was a Polack who invented the wheel in 1931. Last year they began the Safe Driver Program. For only 170 Kopecks ($1.50) you can hire an old lady to wheel you up to 120 miles. Poland says they have saved millions in deductibles and hundreds of lives from the accidents involving wheelbarrows!
With Xmas soon approaching, the media blitz is on to get everyone blitzed during the festive season. Pabst has come out with a line of beer that has a baby bottle top. Isn't it fucking annoying when your pissing it up on New Year's Eve and one of your guests ask-"Isn't that your baby throwing a tantrum in the bedroom?" The alcohol content is 28% so before you know it, Junior is in an alcohol induced coma and you can get back to the fun! Little fellow in the picture is asking the bartender for 4 fingers of scotch as a chaser.
Ever had the experience when someone was acting like a complete asshole in the pub and people would stare and say-"Is that guy drunk or just a fucking retard?" Thanks to those do-gooders and social reformers, they may be both. Another up-side of these social reforms is in the fact that you no longer have to hide your retarded brother or sister when having a party. Or leave them at home when you go to the pub to enjoy a couple of dozen brews, worrying about that weird shit retards do when their alone-like burning down your house or having sex with your pets. Now you can take them with you to the pub, get them drunk and watch the fun begin! They can come in real handy when some bad shit starts to go down at the next table. Say some biker is being loud and obnoxious. Get tardo to walk over and bust a beer mug over his head. Even a biker knows that nobody can fuck-up a tard without everyone coming down on him. Even his fellow bikers frown on someone beating the shit out of a mongoloid!
Who can resist the great fun and excitement of getting your best friend completely shit-faced the night before his wedding. There are hundreds of harmless pranks you can pull off. Such as forcing him drink a 40 oz. of tequila, putting him in the ER with alcohol poisoning. Shaving his balls then super-gluing both of his hands to his cock or getting some diseased crack whore to fuck him! The classiest thing to do (picture on the right)-shaving a happy face on his ass and publishing the picture on Youtube for all the world to see, even his bride-to-be's parents who are devote Christians and hate his fucking guts and wished their little girl never met the prick!!
Nothing wrong with having a couple of brews and relaxing in a doorway like these two upstanding college kids. Everyone needs to take a break every once in a while. Why people object to these non-offensive activities I'll never know!
That's it for fun with drunkeness! Doc
great blog man.love your stuff
ReplyDeleteI should send you pics of me and my friends getting shit faced. Would you do a blog for me?
ReplyDeleteDoc, when I saw that face shaved in that guy's ass, I thought it was actually my good buddy A.G. It looks just looks like him. Anyways, I like your blog although it is fucking sick.
ReplyDelete