INSIGHTS FROM RICKY RETARDO

WARNING-SATIRE & PARODY MAY OFFEND SOME!!!!

RICKY RETARDO 

I really do take the risk of being perceived as an insensitive person with this blog but who really gives a fuck? If you read my blog on eHarmony Rejects, you will know today's guest blogger, Leonard. He is being assisted by his caregiver Robert.

Hi, everyone, as you no frum before my name are Leonard. My frends and family lick to call me Ricky Retardo. Today I am be telling you my perspektive on the hole wurld-sex, politiks, family and other things.

FAMILY HISTORY

I have a histery and it goes like this-My dad was bi-sexual, he would buy sex from anyone or anything. My mommy is also my sister and that is why i am a mungoloid. i have a betarded bruther named Garth, end he had been eleckted the most dangerus cylepath in Grate Briten. that fukker skares every one evn me end i'm fukking tard. if he axes a girl for sex she better give itt to him cuz if she dont he gives me a sore asshole. i dunt liick to tell peeple this but i jerkoff at leest 20 times a day weather i need to or knot.

EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND

i was mainstreemed thru school and even went to a trade school all paid for the tax payers. Nex year i am gonna ax my social worker if i cood go to college to be a doctir. i are pritty goud at operating. i tryed to do a hart transplent wiht naybors kat end dawg but they both died. my care giver, Robert, says that giving me an edukation was a collossal waste of good money seeing as i cant evn whip my own ass, read or get a fukking job. i dont no why he is pissed off, he gets $40 an hour to look after me. cum to think of it, i red sumware or saw it on BBC or cnn that retards are an industry that costed the tax payer billion of moneysz so ituld robert if i were dead, he wouldnt have a job. i told him that and all of a sudden he has quit beating the shite out of me every day!

Robert alweys sez he hopes to gawd that he is reborn as a retard, the lukkiest peeple in the werld. i guess that other then a sore asshole, i guess i gots it pritty good!

RELIGION

This is way to cunfussing to me. you got the kikes, raghedz, muslins,cathliks, prostitents,holy rollers, jahova witness, mornmons and a lot of other rilly weerd religons in the world. i ask Robert about this and he said those fukkin hooknose jewbs run this fukkin world but for chissake dont put that in the blog, so i wont. even being retarded i know that religion has made the world bad. when i was trying to be an alter boy at st. pats i was kicked out cuz when i was doing penence, i sneezed and bit off Father O'reilly's skin flute. good thing i was kicked out cuz i read in the london times, that evry other alterboy was molestered by the priests, whatever that is. Robert says the world will end soon cuz the kikes are pushing the pal-a-steneans around and the muslins wont take that shite from them and we will be nuked bak to the stone age. i asked him what was the stone age and he turned on tv and showed me this documentalry from africa and he said thatz is the stone age. i didn't know being nuked turned yuo into a nigger, scuse my language, i mean wog, that is terrible.

POLITICS

Just as cunfusing as relegeon. here in grate briten we have more politceans than ordinary peeple. most of them are  fukkin queers says Robert. he cries when he tells me how the uk ran the entire werld once, now we dont even own englend. he keeps praying for the nukleer war so we can start over and not make the same mistake. instead of billding ships, next time we will billed a big fukkin fence to keep out forreners.i nearly forgot about our Royalty. Robert says they are a form of retards too cuz they dont werk and they get tons of money from taxpayers and all the do is inbreed and are fukked up. Jeez, roberts shur nos a lot of intresting stuff.  Doc shuld get him to write a blog too. pS-robert sez we also have too many nigers here two.

SEX

like i said, i am not too up on this topik other than getting cornholed all the time. and whaking off i do know too. This is confusing sex and religeuos peeple like priests who robert says get more pussy and ass then peeple who are aloud to be getting any sex. Robert sez maybe he shuld be reborn a retarded priest than he wuld have lots of money and sex and not have to werk one day in his life. i think the more he helps me with this blog the madder he is getting. he is also starting to drink now and i think he will be joining morris tinite and will be rogering me roundly as we call it here in englend. i am going to have a sore butt tomorow.

SPORTS

i was in the special olympiks. robert sez whats so special about some retards acting like fukkin goofballs. another collossal waste of time he said. i one sum metals at the olympiks, in apple bobbin cuz 2 others drownded before anyone relized they were dead. i nearly one in the 100 yard dash but sum other tard beat me by 5 minutes. Robert sez that another thing he wuld be like reborn as is a coon in usa and be in sports. he says that mongrel named tigger wudz makes more money than all the wogs in the uk cobmined and all he does is hits gulf ballz and fuk whores.then he says these reely large sized wogs play at bassetball and make the same kind of cash and they molester women too like kobe breeyant. or i culd be a boxers. mick tyson made millions and mixed boxing and cannabalizm and got 2 million dollars biting off a guys ear. how cum they didnt give me money when i bit off father o'reillys weener?


CELEBRITIES  

Selebritys are my favoriite sujekt cuz most are retarded like me butt my favoryte is sean pEnn. he wuz in englund once end i saw him. robert sez he was hanging out with faggs suckin cock praticing for that horrible faggitt movie harvey milker. krist i hate faggs end i dont think shean is a fagg, roberts jist jelous. even a retard like me dusent beleif that michel fiffer, hoo wuz in "I am sam, wood fukk a retard like she did in thet movie. another celebbrity i wood like to have sex with is paris heilton, man i wood shure like to suck her off, yummy.

USA AND CANADA

i AM GETTING  a sore brane so i am stoppin.

Thanks Leonard. Will be getting back to him one day for another blog on insights from a retard.

WHITE KIDS-MY FAVORITE NEGRO

THINGS THAT ARE FUCKED UP  

We have a collection of subjects which I have entitled-Minority Report-for no particular reason other than 'I can'. This will undoubtedly piss a lot of people off, which is my intention. After all this is a world where freedom of speech and expression is nurtured, unless your a fucking white-ass cracker. But many will enjoy this mirth-filled romp into insensitive racial shit. My prof told me that he wished he was at times either a kike, wet-back or coon, than he could say whatever the fuck he wanted to without getting censured by the University. He was found in a dumpster about 2 weeks after making this statement.


MY FAVORITE NEGRO 

Recently, Miss Templeton, a teacher in Fairfax County, Va. asked her Grade 3 class to write an essay on who their favorite Negro was. Being the richest county in the entire USA, many of these kids have never even seen a black person. Here are some of the papers handed in.

REGINALD FORBES III-My favorite Negro or Afro-American, that's what my dad calls them when we have diplomats over, otherwise he calls them coons or porch-monkeys, is Mike Tyson. He combined the artistry of boxing and cannibalism into one MMA. He made over $300 million, almost as much as my dad made in bonuses from the bank he is president of, even though they have 'tanked' 3 times in the last 5 years. It is too bad Mr. Tyson lost all his money when he got the funny looking Negro, Don King to be the manager. One time when my parents were out, I turned the TV to BET to watch Mike and he said Don King was a nigger and Uncle Tom. I sort of know what a nigger is, it is a nasty word for a Negro, but he sure doesn't look like my Uncle Tom! I was sad when Mike went to prison for accidentally raping that woman.

THOMAS WENTWORTH-KILLANE IV-My favorite Negro is Don King, although my friend Reginald doesn't like him. My dad says he is a financial & criminal genius, even though he has the intelligence of a baboon. I find it amazing that he actually killed 2 guys, one he shot in the back, the other he stomped to death and only did 4 years in prison. I read in Forbes, Don has robbed more people of their hard earned money than any ten bankers put together. My next door neighbor Chief Justice Roberts, told my dad that the reason he hasn't gone to jail any longer than he has, is because he only victimizes fellow Negros, mostly boxers. They both laughed their heads off after he said that. His hair looks really funny. My brothers hair looked like that once when he peed the bed and he had an electric blanket on him to keep him warm.

CLARISSA BEVERLY STANTON-MILHOUSE-My favorite Negro is Robert Mugabe. I think this because of what he has succeeded in doing. My great-grandfather once lived in Rhodesia. He told us stories about how it was one of the richest countries in Africa. It was self-sufficient, had prosperous farms and mines and agriculture. All the people were as happy as any African can be expected to be. They had no tribal warfare. In a matter of mere decades, Mr. Mugabe has worked extremely hard to totally destroy the country. They have no food, no farms, suffer from hyperinflation, hard currency shortage, the highest HIV and rapes per capita. The disease rate is probably high because in 1996, doctors and nurses went on strike. Instead of giving them a raise, he killed them. Can you imagine how hard you have to work to actually go out and completely destroy an entire country!

Well, fuck me, I decided that this is it for today's blog. I was going to get into all kinds of shit, like ERA, PC, hate crimes, those dip-shit, dumb-fucks at CNN but I think I have created enough of a shit storm for one day. Next week, some kids from Howard County, Md. have sent me their essays on "My Favorite Hebrew", so see ya next time. Doc






 

TWISTED KIDS QUIZ

DECEMBER FUN QUIZ

I got my hands on the December Fun Quiz for Children that will published in the upcoming Sunday Washington Post. So get your kids together and try and answer the questions. Let's see if how retarded you and your kids are.

The mother in this picture said she-

a) Has the sorest snatch in Arkansas?

b) Has the sorest snatch in the USA?

c) Has the sorest snatch in the world?

This photograph is a accurate depiction of what?                                           

a) Tiger Woods at the Palm Springs Country Club when he was 5 yrs. old?

b) Chris Brown getting ready to tee off on Rhianna?

c) Kobe Bryant taking a break between raping white women at the resort in Eagle, Co.?

This is a picture of which celebrity doing what activity/event?

a) Serena Williams at the N.E. Patriot NFL spring training camp?

b) Oprah Winfrey trying out for 'Dancing With The Stars'?

c) Mike Tyson training for his next bout with Kimbo?

What have these two people have in common?

a) They have both tried to fuck their way into stardom?

b) Could be 'King' & 'Queen' of "The Scumbag/Douchebag Ball?

c) Are as equally disgusting and talentless?

d) Have exactly the same I.Q.-68?

Well wasn't that fun? As you can tell it was a trick quiz because all answers were right or interchangeable. My next blog is on minority rights-white people being the minority in this case! Thank you for reading.